Monday, April 05, 2010

How to Grow a Church!!!!

I'm wondering what it takes to make a church grow. Here is a list of some things that have popped in my head...

1. No dress code of any kind. If someone wants to wear a suit fine. Bathing suit, fine. Clown outfit, fine.

2. No hymns are allowed. You have to have hip-hop music that the kids want to hear. Lyrics about Jesus and the cross and blood are a drag.
3. Move out the pews and bring in La-Z-Boys.

4. Let the kids/youth run the church.
5. Make the sermon a 5 minute devotional.
6. Have coffee and doughnuts.
7. If you don't have coffee and doughnuts at least have a full breakfast bar.
















8. Joshua says an ATM might be a good one.














9. Melissa says Free Daycare.














10. Stuart thinks a bar would be nice.

5 comments:

Joshua said...

I was thinking an ATM might come in handy. Vending machines would be a plus for the kids.

Actually, a concierge as soon as you open the front doors of the church would be a huge success. These would be great ways to grow a worldly church apart from Christ and Scripture.

MRWBBIII said...

TO DESIRING GOD 2010 RICK WARREN JOHN PIPER ATTENDEES

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Stuart said...

Hey DT,

Glad to see you blogging again. Missed the Biblical sensibility your articles bring.

How about a bar? That would be culturally relevant... :/

Rgds,
SPQRIII

Melissa said...

FREE DAYCARE!!!!!

Steve said...

Maybe a taco stand, too!

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