Friday, January 02, 2009

Mothers Who Don't Care

That they may teach the young women to be vigilant, to love their husbands, to love their children. Titus 2.4

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all. ...She will be rewarded with the fruit of her own hands; and because of her works and deed she will be praised in public places. Proverbs 31.28-29, 31

I am sure this post will aggravate some but as my mother says, "tough."

I have noticed a growing trend over the past 20 years. I have also noticed the intensity of this trend picking up at a rapid pace over the last 10 years. The trend I am speaking of is of the slackness of many mothers.

Now I know that every generation of every civilization has had their problems with women who had children but did not want to be a mother. I also know there are psycho moms, just like psycho dads, who wish to harm their children. These are not the people that I am talking about.

I am talking about moms who, have children, but act like they don't want their children. You know the type. The ones who love dropping their child off at the "Mother's Morning Out" so they can "catch their breath." Or the moms who live to take their child to ball practice, or some event so that others can "watch" them. The moms who constantly want to "farm" out their child on some family member or friend. The moms who always want another child to come over to entertain their child.

I see this quite a lot. I see this in church nurseries of mothers who don't want to make their children mind so they dump their child off so that they can "hear the message." I saw this while playing and coaching league ball. I remember one year while having VBS a parent dropped their child off and stated how they needed some time to shop and do other stuff. This is a common mentality today.

I have seen this over and over even while playing and coaching league ball.

Some may say that we all need time to "unwind" but this is oftentimes not the case. It appears that what is meant is that mothers need time off from mothering, caring, and nurturing their child.

This is also a case for public school. I have heard many times christian mothers would like to homeschool their child but they don't know if they could "handle spending that much time with their child." So, it appears that school then becomes a babysitter for their child too.

Are children that awful that mothers need a break? Are they that bothersome that we need someone else to help raise them?


grateful said...

Kids are the new pets.
Feed them, give them drinks and ignore them.
Sad, but that is part of the fault of pastors who have never ever preached about feminism and it's errors. Not PC. Women today, even Christians, do seem to have a very anti-child attitude. Which I think is just because the women who are like this are really their own idol. And pastors don't ever confront sin anymore.

Dead Theologians said...


You are dead-on in your observation.

I have seen that children are treated as tokens instead of blessings. Their fun to show off when they can advance our selfish desires; then they are dumped.


TMD said...

I'm glad all this will "change" now that "hope" is in the air. Go Barack! J/K

Seriously, I agree DT. Most Christian Women (and Men) don't have the mind of Christ with regards to children.

Sure glad the gospel has brought my wife and I full circle in this regard.

Melissa said...


I've seen it in more "Christian" mothers than you can imagine....actually you probably can.

I've seen women call their mothers and pretty much ask them to change their plans to take care of their children because they have something they need to do. There is often no regard for what her mother might already have planned.

I cringe every time I hear a mother say that she is taking her two year old to school....SCHOOL! If you mean day-care, please at least call it what it is :D

Many times the mothers that are taking their children to "Mother's Day Out" are stay-at-home-mom's who are just going back home for the four hours anyways.

I heard someone say recently, "What is the point in taking my child to MDO on a 2-hour delay if I'm going to have to drive 30 minutes to drop them off and then again to pick them up." I'm thinking....why do you do that on a full four hour day?

It just doesn't make sense. The idea of being at home with them is that you take care of them at home.

grateful said...

"It just doesn't make sense. The idea of being at home with them is that you take care of them at home."

Exactly Melissa!
Maybe people forget you can enjoy children.
A scripture that comes to mind is about the woman whose feet are seldom at home.

Life is simpler lived at home, and not on the road to another family dividing activity.

valerie said...

I try not to be quick to judge other moms based on their ability to handle what they see as stress. I had post-partum depression after baby #2 and I believe I and my children would have benefited from a few hours apart once a week. I didn't have a MDO and yes, I "got through it" with God's grace. I believe experienced mom's need to offer up encouragement to new moms and be there when they need us. Maybe if more of us kept a sympathetic heart, shared our wisdom and were there to support one another there wouldn't be such a demand for daycare or MDO.

Dead Theologians said...


>>Maybe if more of us kept a sympathetic heart, shared our wisdom and were there to support one another there wouldn't be such a demand for daycare or MDO.

I have to say that you are probably right. I had not thought about this from your point of view.

Thanks for the challenge.


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